Wannan na É—aya daga cikin jerin rubuce-rubucen da Zauren Markazus Sunna ke samarwa kan batutuwa daban-daban da suka shafi rayuwar al’umma. A wannan karon rubutun ya shafi “Bambancin Sha’awa Da Soyayya” wanda Baban Manar AlÆ™asim ya rubuta
Bambancin Sha'awa Da Soyayya (Kashi na 03)
Baban Manar Alƙasim
Soyayya ta ƙuruciya ta
bambanta da sauran da aka ambata a baya in ba ta farko ba, soyayya ce da galibi
ba ta da dalili sama da burgewa, 'yammata sun san abubuwan da suke burge samari
da su na kwalliya da ado, don haka a shirye suke su yi wa saurayin da suke ƙauna duk abin
da yake buƙata, ko wanda suka tabbatar zai ja hankalinsa,
galibin abin da ake musayarsa a tsakaninsu yana da alaƙa ne ta kai
tsaye da zuciya zalla, don haka dole sha'awar saduwa ta zama ita ce ƙoli-ƙoli da komai. Soyayyar
ƙuriciya ta fi
tsanani ne wurin:-
i) Son ganin juna da ƙaunar zama da
juna, a dai sami wani dalili na mannuwa da juna, ko jin sassanyar murya, da
musayar murmushi da dariya cikin zazzaƙar murya mai
motsa sha'awar juna, kwalliya da nau'o'in ado da turare abubuwa ne da ake
amfani da su don burge juna, in budurwa za ta zauna da saurayi ko a dakin
mamanta ne sai ta ƙure adaka, mai yuwa ma ta sanya takalma masu tsada,
don dai ta tabbatar da ta burge shi, a zatonta in zai ƙaunace ta sosai
ta wannan hanyar, akwai yuwuwar samun dauwamammiyar soyayyar.
Shi kuwa namiji ba shakka yaƙi yake yi na a
mutu ko a yi rai, galibin samari, masamman a matattarar da ake samun kudi a
hannun samari, ba abin da suka fahimci soyayya kamar juya wannan kudin wajen
mallakar zuciyar mace, ƙoƙarin saurayi kawai budurwar ta fahimci cewa zai iya
gamsar da ita komai, masamman abubuwan da suka shafi rayuwa, shi ya sa ko
bashin kudi zai yi don ya ba ta, ko ya ma ta wani abu na burgewa abu ne mai
matuƙar sauƙi, ko da kuwa
ba ta nema ba, har aron kaya ko mota don zuwa zance abu ne mai matuƙar sauƙi, na zauna a
wata matattara wace sai budurwa ta ga irin ginin gidan saurayin kafin ta yarda
a fara soyayyar.
ii) Rashin binciken yuwuwar rayuwa cikin fahimtar
juna, da wahala saurayi ya tsaya duba yuwuwar cikakkiyar musayar motsin rai da
mace kafin ya fara nemanta, wasu za ka taras karatu ya hada su, sai sun gama
shaƙuwa da juna
kafin a fara zancen zuwa gidajen juna, sau da yawa shawara kan rabuwa ko wani
bincike yakan zama sharhin bayan labarai ne kawai, amma bai da wani tasiri ko
kadan, duk wani hange da iyaye suke yi bai da wani amfani don ba sa daukar duk
wata shawara da ta saba wa mannuwarsu da juna, koda mummunan halin masoyi ya
bayyana sukan raya cewa za su iya canja shi a lokacin da suka zauna da juna, ba
tare da nazarin cewa wata dabi'ar ba ta sauyuwa cikin sauƙi ba.
iii) Yadda za ka tabbatar da cewa soyayyar ana yin ta
ne kawai ido rufe ba tare da lissafi ba, da zarar masoyi ya sami tasgaro sai ka
ga ya ruguje gaba daya, yana iya gaya maka kai tsaye cewa ya yi asarar da ba
zai iya maido da ita ba, duk da cewa babu wata hidima ta jiki da aka yi cikin
sakewa da natsuwa a tsakanin juna, ba saduwa ta auratayya a tsakaninsu ta ina
soyayya ta kammala bare mutum ya san ya yi asarar rabin jikinsa? Soyayya ta
gaskiya ba ta hana tunani da sanya komai a mahallinsa, ita jagoranci ma take yi
don kai masoyi zuwa ga biyan buƙatarsa amma ta hanyar da ta dace.
iv) Soyayyar ƙuruciya gaba
dayanta saƙe-saƙen zuciya ne ba
tare da tabbatarwa ta hanyar da ta dace ba, wasu abubuwan zai yi wahala
matattara su karba to bare kuma addini, Annabi SAW ya nusar kan haka don a sami
wani shinge a tsakanin waÉ—annan masoyan
don tsoron aukawa kwazazzabon da-na-sani, iyaye kuma a yau suna taimakawa sosai
wajen ba wa 'ya'yansu damar su kutsa cikin tekun sha'awar juna kafin saƙuwar soyayya ta
gaskiya.
v) Ginuwar makwancin soyayya a zuciya kadai ba tare
da tanadin ƙwaƙwalwa da sauran sassan jiki ba abu ne sananne a
soyayyar ƙuruciya, in da za ka tsare saurayi ko budurwa ka yi
wa dayansu tambayar ƙwaƙwaf kan cewa: Don me kake son dan uwanka? Bai iya
cewa ga dalili sama da buƙatarsa ta kansa shi kadai, da wahala ya yi tunanin
alaƙar matar da
iyayensa, ko 'ya'yansa bare kuma 'yan uwansa, wani abu ya gani a jikinta ya
burge shi, ko ita ta gani a tare da shi ya ba ta sha'awa, amma tana da damar
tambayar kanta: "Shin wanga ya dace ya zanto uban yarana?"
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HAUSA: Kuna iya rubuto mana tsokaci ko tambayoyi a ƙasa. Tsokacinku game da abubuwan da muke ɗorawa shi zai tabbatar mana cewa mutane suna amfana da wannan ƙoƙari da muke yi na tattaro muku ɗimbin ilimummuka a wannan kafar intanet.