Wannan na ɗaya daga cikin jerin rubuce-rubucen da Zauren Markazus Sunna ke samarwa kan batutuwa daban-daban da suka shafi rayuwar al’umma. A wannan karon rubutun ya shafi “Bambancin Sha’awa Da Soyayya” wanda Baban Manar Alqasim ya rubuta.
Bambancin Sha'awa Da Soyayya (Kashi na 36)
Baban Manar Alƙasim
Bayan dogon bayanin da muka yi
don bayyana hanyoyin inganta zamantakewa a tsakanin ma'aurata guda biyu, yanzu
za mu taƙaita bayanin ne a kan wasu 'yan alƙaluma:- 1) Akwai buƙatar daidaituwa ta fuskar
fahimtar addini da aƙida, in ya kasance mutum mai ilimi ne, ya zamanto zabinsa na biyu
bayan tantance mace mai addini shi ne samun mace mai fahimta irin ta sa, ilimi
kala-kala ne, amma in aka yi dace da abin da zuciya take so, to zama yakan fi
danƙo, in da za ka lura wasu masu fandararrun aƙidu sukan bar matansu su fita
cikin duhun dare ba tare da wani kyakkyawan tsaro ba wai sun je taro, haka za
su yanko daji a ƙasa ba dare ba rana wai suna addini, in fahimtar addinin a wannan
sifar tsakanin ma'aurata ba ta yi daidai ba akwai matsala. Inda za ka fahimci
abin da nake nufi, wani dare wasu sun hana ni barci wai suna maulidi, da na leƙo bayan sha biyun dare sai na
ga 'yammata da matan aure duk suna tsattsaye, in ka auri mace ta matsa sai ta
fita mauludi, ko wani zaman makoki na mutanen da suka rasu sama da shekara dubu
daya ai ka ga akwai matsala, kamar fa ka auro 'yar sunna ne ka ce tazo ku je
tattaki ko zagayen gari da sauransu, duk ba ina nufin ba zai yuwu ba ne, manufa
dai ka auro wace kuke da manufa iri guda don samun sauƙin tafiyar da zamantakewa a
sassauƙar hanya, kafin ka ce ma ta yi kaza ita ta riga ta gama shirya
masa.
2) Samun musayar kyakkyawan
zato tsakanin ma'aurata, ko na ce masoya, in ya kasance wani yana zargin wani
da zina ko daduro dole a riƙa samun matsala, koda kuwa
macen ce take zargin namiji da shi, bare kuma a ce maigida ne yake zargin
iyalinsa da zina, a zahiri wasu mazan sukan yi ta holewa da yaran jama'a da
sunan aure, har sukan nuna cewa ma addini ne, sai mutumin da ake girmama shi ya
kulle ƙofa da 'yar jama'a ya ce aure ne ya yi na minti 30, ko na sa'a
daya, ba kunya ba tsoron Allah, wa zai iya fassara min wannan da sunan soyayya?
Shin saduwa da mace ita ce soyayya? Irin wannan da wahala daga baya ya aure ta
don ya san mazinaciya ce, ba zai yarda da ita ba, da ma can sha'awarsa ce kuma
ya biya, yanzu zai ce ko ya aure ta za ta ci gaba da wasu ne can daban, don a
wurinsu addini ne duk da ba sa so a yi da na su, ita ma da ake yi da ita dole
ta yi zargi don ta san dabi'arsa.
3) Ƙoƙarin warware matsalolin gida ta
fuskar ƙaddara abin da kowa yake yi, a bayyane yake mace ko amarya ce tana
da ayyuka da yawa, kamar wanki da wanke-wanke, guga da goge-goge, tsafta da
tsaftacewa, ga harkar ƙundu zalla, waɗannan abubuwa ne da suka shafi
soyayya, wadan da mace take yi wa namiji da zuciya daya, kamata ya yi ya maida
ma ta da su wajen yaba ma ta da girman abin da ta yi, ita ma takan wuni ba ta
yi aikin Naira 100 ba, amma maigida shi yake daukar nauyin komai na gidan, koda
kuwa rezar yanke farce ce, da wannan uwargida za ta riƙa yi masa hanzari a wasu
abubuwan, shi kuma ya kalli ayyukanta na gida ya riƙa yi ma ta uzuri don samun
gamsasshiyar zamantakewa, in kuwa maigida yana kallon wahalhalun da yake yi ne
kawai, ita kuwa yana ganin a sama kawai take ci to akwai matsala, haka ita ma
in ta dauki lamarin a haka.
4) Wasu lokutan manema ko
ma'aurata suna da wata matsala wace take yi musu wahalar magancewa, misali in
masoyi ya yi kuskure a maimakon a yi tunanin yadda za a gyara cikin sauƙi don rayuwa ta ci gaba da
wanzuwa kamar yadda ya kamata, sai ka ga masoyi yana ƙoƙarin ya rama abin da aka yi
masa, ta wurin munana wa abokin rayuwa, sannan a ƙarshe dai yana daukarsa a
matsayin masoyi, kamar ba shi ne ake fadin ba a son wani abu ya shafe shi ba,
sai ka ce ba shi ne ake ce masa in ba shi ba rijiya, masoyi na gaskiya komai na
sa na ka ne, to yaushe za ka ce amma fa na minti kaza ne bayan haka ba ruwana
da kai, ko fada ma za mu iya yi a kan kudi?
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HAUSA: Kuna iya rubuto mana tsokaci ko tambayoyi a ƙasa. Tsokacinku game da abubuwan da muke ɗorawa shi zai tabbatar mana cewa mutane suna amfana da wannan ƙoƙari da muke yi na tattaro muku ɗimbin ilimummuka a wannan kafar intanet.