𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵❓
This ƙuestion is not really to get a ruling on whether what I'm doing is wrong. It's
a ƙuestion on how to get rid of my problem. I can't stop talking and going out
with girls. When a girl starts flirting with me it's like I can't tell her no. It
is like my brain stops functioning. I usually end up going out with the girl
and may be kiss but Alhamdullilah I have never been further. I know what I do
is wrong; and believe me I feel guilty after every date, but I don't know what
to do. Please help me. I'm weak when it comes to women and I don't know what to
do. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, and I try to be good but when it comes to
women I can't control myself. Thank you for your help.
𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑹❗️
Praise be to Allah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke the truth
when he said, I am not leaving behind any fitnah (trial, temptation) more
harmful to men than women. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4706).
He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: This world is
sweet and dazzling, and Allaah has you put in charge of it to see how you will
do and what you will do, so beware of this world and beware of women, for the
first fitnah (temptation, trial) that befell the Children of Israel was
concerning women. (Reported by Muslim, 4925).
You have to deal with two things, one now and one in the future. As far as
your past misbehaviour is concerned, you must repent sincerely to Allaah right
now, and do good deeds to expiate for your bad deeds, as was reported in the
hadeeth of Ibn Masood (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said that a man
kissed a woman [who was unlawful for him]; he came to the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about it, [saying, I met a woman
in the garden, and I embraced her, touched her and kissed her]. [Here I am, judge
concerning me as you wish. ] [He started asking how he could expiate for this, and
(the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) did not say anything].
Then Allaah revealed the words:
وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ طَرَفَيِ النَّهَارِ وَزُلَفًا مِنَ اللَّيْلِ ۚ إِنَّ الْحَسَنَاتِ يُذْهِبْنَ السَّيِّئَاتِ ۚ
And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the
night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds [Hood 11:114].
The man asked, O Messenger of Allaah, is this just for me? He said, It is
for all of my ummah. (reported by al-Bukhaari, 495; additional material in
brackets is from the reports of al-Tirmidhi, Ahmad, Muslim and Ibn Maajah, in
that order), so do a lot of acts of worship and good deeds, so that Allaah may
accept your repentance.
As far as the future is concerned, you are not permitted at all to go to
places where there is corruption and free mixing, where you are likely to meet
women. You say that you cannot control yourself, so why do you go to places
where you spend time chatting informally with women, and then say that you
cannot resist? What you say is completely unacceptable. If you avoid the places
and things that lead to evil, and do not expose yourself to it, you will protect
yourself from falling into sin. Fear Allaah, for Allaah is watching you to see
how you will do and what you will do. Beware of going to places that will lead
you into haraam things. Remember that the more you indulge in haraam activities,
the more difficult it is to retreat, so nip it in the bud. Stick to righteous
company, and keep away from evil things and evil people. Do everything that
will help you to remain chaste, such as hastening to marry and lowering your
gaze. I ask Allaah to protect you from the temptation of women. May Allaah
bless our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
And Allah knows best.
Ƙuestions And Answers According To Ƙur'an
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